All in all?  If I didn’t think too hard about it?  I could feel cautiously optimistic for the first time in a long while.  For the first time in weeks, months, I could feel like everything just might work out.

😀

And then the next paragraph we learn the Slaughterhouse just went public or something like that?

Oh! Nope – end of the chapter! We’re left on this high note, which is nice! 🙂

Things weren’t perfect, but they were better.  I was on speaking terms with Brian, I was making headway on my plans, Lisa was making headway on her end of things, and in some small way, I felt like I’d finally followed through with that dream I’d had at the start of the year, of being a superhero.

Heh, yeah. A villainous superhero, but a superhero nonetheless.

I was a villain.  I’d given the order to let a man die.   Maybe my abandonment of Thomas would weigh on my conscience more after I got some sleep and my thoughts were clearer.  Maybe not.  But I’d also done something to help people, without ulterior motives.

That you did. On both counts.

Your placement on the scale is kind of… ambiguous. I think the best term right now is anti-villain, but that might wobble into anti-hero. She might already be there, for that matter. I honestly don’t know.

I’d given Sierra her brother back, I’d saved Charlotte.  I was happy about that.

You should be!

“Go for it.  But I get some,” I smiled.

Heh, nice.

As my new minion set about figuring out the oven, I was able to stop for a moment.  Doubts and insecurities still weighed on me, but I couldn’t feel guilty for not making more progress today.  I’d done what I could to move forward on my plan to help Dinah.

You’ve done good today, Taylor. Good job. 🙂

Both Lisa and Brian had acknowledged that I was making great strides forward, and that gave me hope that I might be impressing Coil as well.

Could very well be the case. Brian does have a point, though: You need to pace yourself.

Like I do with my liveblog: Physically, it would be possible for me to do this daily (at least until I get a job). In practice, I deliberately give myself at least one day off between chapters, because if I didn’t, I would exhaust myself mentally.

The same concept applies to what Taylor is trying to do here – she’s putting herself fully into Skittering without taking any time off, and it’s mentally exhausting. As she put it earlier in this chapter, she’s not “Taylor” very often these days. She needs to take some time to be Taylor.

“Hanging sounds good,” I answered him, feeling lame as I said it.

Careful about the wording there. 😛

“I’m gonna go sleep.  Long day.  You take care of yourself, alright?” he said by way of a goodbye as he headed for the door.

Good night, Grue!

I nodded, “You too.”

When I walked over to the kitchen, Charlotte had a box of toaster strudels in one hand and a package of cookie dough in the other.  She’d washed her face, and only trace amounts of the caked-on makeup were still there.

Nice. Maybe we can find out how she looks when she’s not a stripper clown now.

She looked worlds younger, and was like a little kid as she asked me, “Can I use your oven?”

To be fair, I think there are more reasons for Charlotte to look younger right now than just the makeup. She’s had a stressful however many days.

I felt the flush deepen and hurried to interrupt him before he could bring up my asinine confession again, “It’s good.  Yes.  Let’s go with that.”

Hehe. 🙂

Good thing Charlotte isn’t hearing this, right, Taylor? 😛

“Good.”  He clapped one hand on my shoulder.  A sign of camraderie, friendship, with the subtle effect of reinforcing that I was at arm’s length.  

He’s learning.

Or was I reading too much into things?

It wouldn’t be the first time for that, though.

I could live with it.  It was worlds better than the quiet hostility and hurt I’d been sensing from him as of late.

Yeah!

I felt a flush warm my ears.  “I told her not to interfere.”

Evidently, she didn’t listen.

“Well, she did, and I think she was right to.  I’ve been a bit hard headed.”

About Taylor coming back to the team.

Not about the rejection.

Please.

I know I used to ship these two a lot, but the rejection changed that. I respected Brian’s stance on it and I respected Wildbow for letting that happen and treating it as well as he did. So while these two do go well together when they get along and aren’t disagreeing over things due to their alignments, I’d honestly prefer if we didn’t go back on that. Especially as a result of Brian getting chewed out over it.

I shrugged.  Couldn’t agree without offending him, but I didn’t disagree either.   I’d been stubborn in my own ways too.

That’s fair.

He asked, “So do you want to call it even?  I said it before, but I thought maybe we could become best friends, somewhere down the line.  I’d like to go there again, if you’re willing.  If it’s not awkward or-“

Okay, good. This sounds like a much better outcome of this.

Honestly, it should’ve been obvious it wouldn’t turn out the way I worried about for a moment just now. Brian isn’t the type who’d let himself get bullied into a romantic relationship, Taylor isn’t the type to accept a relationship knowing it was caused by that, and Wildbow is a good writer with respect for his characters.