“I hope I didn’t keep you awake by leaning on you. Don’t even know when I nodded off.”
“It wasn’t you, and I didn’t mind. It was…” he searched for the word. “Okay.”
:>
‘Okay’. How was I supposed to interpret that? Or did he intend for it to be vague and noncommittal?
If he did, he succeeded. I still think it’s vaguely positive, though. Very vaguely, but still.
I shouldn’t even have been worrying about that. I blamed the fact that I was just waking up. Brian was in a bad state. Was there something I was supposed to say?
Hey, thoughts are not beasts that can be kept in check easily.
Something I should do? Every gesture that normally demonstrated caring or sympathy or whatever else was a tender point for him.
I don’t know, this stuff is hard.
A touch on the arm was an invasion of his personal space, which he was keenly aware of at this point.
Yeeeah, if you’re averse to things going for your head right now, he’s probably gonna be a thousand times as bad with any unexpected contact.
Asking how he was doing was a reminder that he wasn’t ok. Would offering to help him out or giving him support make him feel more powerless, like he’d felt when Bonesaw had gone to work on him?
And on top of everything, there’s the machism his dad imprinted on him, which might make him slightly more averse to being on the receiving end of the support.
Honestly, though, he handles that aspect of his background fairly well. He could’ve become so much more of a dick as a result of that, but here he is as a sweet and sensitive guy.