“Come on.  Give me a chance.  Let me know what it takes to get one night of your company.  Tell me to bring you a star in the palm of my hand, or slay a dreaded Endbringer, and I’ll get it done.”

Watch out, there, buddy, you almost managed to sound romantic there for a second!

“You’d just find some loophole and bring me a plastic star or kill an Endbringer in a video game, which would only give you an excuse to harass me further.”

…Endbringers as video game bosses. It sounds like that’s a thing!

I love that.

I wonder if some real video game bosses were designed differently because of the Endbringers. Apocalypsis Aquarius is boss music for a Leviathan of some kind, right? Maybe that boss, in a future Wormverse version of Final Fantasy XV (in a future where the ~2013 threat didn’t cause the game to not be released), would be designed to be more like the Leviathan that’s actually attacking places in their real life?

“It can be a coffee,” Assault told her.  “Or a beer after a night of patrols.  Nothing fancy, low stress.” 

Wait, is he actually trying to turn it romantic? Is this enemies to to allies to lovers?

But yeah, regardless of whether the in-universe shippers are right or not, I’m sure there’s plenty of out-of-universe shippers too.

“Low stress?  You’re forgetting the part where I’d be spending more time in your company than I have to.”

Heh, nice one.

“Hon, you need to unwind.  Relax.  You’re too rigid, and I know for a fact that you haven’t had a boyfriend or a girlfriend in the two years I’ve worked with you.”

Yep, seems like he’s legitimately trying. In the same creepish way he commented on her looks immediately after she showed up to fight him that first time.

But maybe he’s just trying to get under her skin some more.

“Stop implying I’m into women, Ass.”

I suppose it’s only fair that she can shorten his name like that. :p

It’s appropriate.

“Well, you know, you keep turning me down, so it kind of makes a man wonder.”

Ugh, that old, awful train of thought. I can almost smell the entitlement through my screen.

“I’ve been too busy, and even if I did want to date, rest assured, you would be my last pick for company.”

There are probably fanfics that turn Battery into a tsundere. “No, see, she really does like him, but she refuses to admit that so she puts up this front–”

“The connotations are horrible!  No!  You’re not allowed to change the intent of my name like that!”

And the dual meaning of Battery’s name is explicitly designed to bug her.

This is quite an interesting development, honestly, and I kind of love it. Though I feel so sorry for Battery.

“Fine, fine.  Point taken.  Puppy.”

Battery looked at Legend, “Can I maybe get a raise, for putting up with this?”

Hehe.

Seems fair to me.

The leader of the Protectorate folded his arms.  “Something can be arranged.”

■

I like Legend.

“I already have a name in mind for my goodie-two-shoes costumed self,” Madcap grinned.  “You’re going to like this one, puppy.”

And we’re building up to the confirmation/reveal.

Assault always did seem like an oddly violent name when taken separately from Battery.

“You’re going to have to stop calling me that,” Battery warned him, “Or your identity as Madcap is going to become public knowledge, fast.”

At least she has some leverage on him. As long as Legend doesn’t take issue with that.

Madcap rubbed his chin.  “Maybe.  I’ll agree to stop if you accept my name.”

She sighed.  “I already know I’m going to hate this.”

“You’ll love it.  Assault.  Get it?”

Yep, there it is! Assault and Battery.

(I’d like to think I would’ve caught on to it when I did even without the accident earlier telling me that Assault was in this chapter.)

It took her a second to process.  “No!”

“No?  But it’s perfect.  We’ll be a pair!  People will know from the second they hear it.”

Yeeah, with these names it’s no wonder there’s speculation about them being connected civilianways, even without them working together in fights because their powers go so well with each other.

Battery looked down at Madcap, and the villain offered her an exaggerated pout, his eyes large, his lower lip sticking out.

Pfft.

“Fuck me,” she said.  “You’re going on paper as the one making the call, Legend, and you’re taking the hit if this backfires.”

Heh, alright, fair enough.

“That’s fair.”

“Yes!” Madcap grinned.

“I’ve died and gone to hell,” Battery muttered.  It was everything she’d become a hero to prevent.

No one can resist the puppy eyes.

And here I though Battery was supposed to be the “puppy” out of them.

A villain evading his rightful justice.  But she knew it was for the greater good.  They did need more heroes out there.

Yeah, they really do.

“Boy scout?  You’ll be on your best behavior?”  Legend asked.  “This would be more than even regular probation.”

“No.” Battery said.

This is pretty much Battery’s worst nightmare.

“Yes.”  Madcap answered the man.

“No,” Battery said, stabbing a finger at Legend.  “I’ve been a damn good hero for you guys.  My record is spotless, I’ve put in the hours, I’ve put in the overtime hours.  I’ve done the jobs nobody else wants to do, the unpaid volunteer crap, the patrols at the dead of night when nothing happens.  This is a punishment.”

A pretty tough one too.

It goes against everything Battery stands for and provides her with a constant, sadistic reminder of that, one she’ll have to work with every day. Not to mention she’ll have to endure fan speculation about him being her boyfriend, her brother or both.

“You’re right,” Legend sighed, “It would be a heavy burden for a good heroine.  So it’s up to you.  You decide if Madcap joins the Protectorate or not.  I won’t judge you if you say no.”

Wait, if this is really the case, how the hell did he end up working with her?

“But you think I should say yes.”

“I do, if it makes us stronger in the long run.”

Peer pressure, basically? Did she decide that she couldn’t let her own discomfort with the idea prevent the PRT from getting such a powerful addition?

“That could be arranged.”

“And I want to be on her team,” Madcap said, pointing at Battery.  He smiled.  “Puppy changes to a new city, I go with.”

…oh!

He’s Assault! Kinetic energy manipulation, that’s how everything we’ve seen him do fits together. From launching things, to making things explode, to being unaffected by collisions… Yeah, it all makes sense now.

“Hell no,” Battery said.

“Why?” Legend asked.

I think he’s just taken a perverse liking to her.

“It’s funny,” Madcap said.  “It’s going to irritate the piss out of her, and I’ve got just a little bit of a sadistic streak in me.  If I don’t channel it somehow, this just isn’t going to work out.

Hey, at least he’s honest about it.

Just give me this, and I’ll be a boy scout.”

“I’ll learn knots and everything!”