“If there was more body contact or if I was spending time with you, or any of that other stuff you mentioned, I promise I wasn’t teasing or anything. If any of it was conscious on my part, it was meant to make you feel more welcome, let you know you’ve got me around, because I knew you had a rough time of it at school.”
And pity. There’s the trifecta.
Aw.
“It’s okay. You can- you can stop now.”
We walked a few seconds in oppressive silence.
“I’m sorry. I feel like an asshole. Like I’m kicking you while you’re down.”
You’re not an asshole. It’s just not what she wanted to hear.
I shook my head, “It’s fine. Not a big deal. Just drop the subject?”
“Alright.”
I’m not sure Taylor is as fine with this as she claims to be, but dropping the subject for now might help. It’ll give her some time to deal with it in her head.
I bobbed my head in mutual agreement and swallowed the lump in my throat. In a different place or situation, if Brian wasn’t around, if I had privacy, I might have cried. I didn’t have that luxury, so I focused on putting one foot in front of the other, controlling my breathing, reading street signs and store names, and just focusing on anything that wasn’t Brian or the conversation we’d just had.
And/or put it out of her head for a bit until she’s in a better mental state to deal with it.
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