1) Suggestion to reread the Gallant-Amy conversation in Interlude 3, now that you know what is going on under the surface. 2) Which S9 member (if any at all) do you find the most viscerally horrifying? For me it is Cherish without a doubt. The idea that she can twist my feelings and make me want to kill myself… *shudders*.
1) Yeah, I should do that.
2) Oh yeah, I agree. Cherish’s power is quite horrifying. It’s either her or Bonesaw.
Gallant hesitantly raised his hand, “One of Hellhound’s dogs slammed into me. I think I might have a broken rib. Paramedics cleared me, but I want to be extra sure I’m not risking a punctured lung or something.”
Panacea frowned, then gestured to the far end of the room, “I’ll take a look at you over there?”
Hating Gallant due to jealousy explains why she frowned here.
“Go figure, Glory Girl’s boyfriend gets special treatment,” Clockblocker grinned to make it clear he was just poking fun. Gallant just smirked in response.
And here we have a well-timed reminder of Glory Girl and Gallant’s relationship.
The pair went to Gallant’s alcove, and she sat him down on the bed before laying a hand on his shoulder. She pulled her hood back and furrowed her brow.
“You don’t have a punctured lung. You’ve got one fractured rib, but you’re not even in that much pain. Why-”
“I lied. I wanted to talk to you, alone,” he took her hand.
Dun dun dunnn.
She scowled and pulled her hand back like he’d bitten her. As if to make doubly sure he wouldn’t grab her hand again, she folded her arms.
“You know I can sense emotions,” he said, “Everyone’s emotions, like a cloud of colors around them. Can’t turn it off. It’s just how I see the world.”
“Victoria mentioned that.”
“So you’re an open book to me. I know you’re scared. No… you’re terrified, and that’s why you’re not talking.”
This would be because of what Tattletale said, and the fact that Gallant is the one calling her out on it doesn’t help.
She sighed and sat on the bed, as far from Gallant as she could.
“I never wanted these powers. I never wanted powers, period.”
He nodded.
“But I got them anyways, and I got international attention over it. The healer. The girl who could cure cancer with a touch, make someone ten years younger, regrow lost limbs. I’m forced to be a hero. Burdened with this obligation. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t use this power. It’s such an opportunity, to save lives.”
This is the part of this conversation I remember better.
The international attention suggests people who can heal others are very, very rare. Maybe even unique to Amy.
…hah, apparently I was already comparing her to Spiderman back then:
“With great power comes great responsibility.” This is exactly the kind of situation that quote refers to – Panacea could probably relate to Peter Parker if they met and talked for a while.
Spiderman may sound like he’s enjoying the superhero work, and on one level I think he does, but he’s motivated to pick it up by the lesson his uncle’s death taught him: That if he has the capability to help people, he has a duty to do it.
It’s a similar story with Panacea, but unlike Spiderman, she doesn’t seem to enjoy it.
“But?”
“But at the same time… I can’t cure everyone. Even if I go to the hospital every night for two or three hours at a time, there are thousands of other hospitals I can’t visit, tens of millions of people who are terminally ill or living in a personal hell where they’re paralyzed or in constant pain. These people don’t deserve to face that, but I can’t help them all. I can’t help one percent of them if I put in twenty hours a day.”
“You have to focus on what you can do,” Gallant told her.
“Sounds easier than it is,” Panacea answered, with a touch of bitterness, “Do you understand what it means, to cure some of these people? I feel like every second I take to myself is a second I’ve failed somehow.
Aww
I want to hug her.
Can I hug her please?
Hehe, it’s fun to see the ways I’m still in tune with Pastwell’s feelings and thoughts about Amy.
For two years, it’s been this… pressure. I lie in bed, awake at night, and I can’t sleep. So I get up and I go to the hospital in the middle of the night. Go to pediatrics, cure some kids. Go to the ICU, spare some lives… and it’s all just blending together. I can’t even remember the last few people I saved.”
She has a hard life.
She sighed again, “The last person I really remember? It was maybe a week ago, I was working on a kid. He was just a toddler, an immigrant from Cairo, I think. Ectopia Cordis. That’s where you’re born with your heart outside your body. I was putting everything in the right place, giving him a chance at a normal life.”
Sounds like a mess.
Heart outside your body? Yikes, that sounds like a mess of a disorder.
I know right, Pastwell?
“What made him so memorable?”
“I resented him. He was lying there, fast asleep, like an angel, and for just a second, I considered just leaving him. The doctors could have finished the job, but it would have been dangerous. He might have died if I’d left him on the table, the job half done. I hated him.”
Oof.
Gallant didn’t say anything. Scowling, Panacea stared down at the ground.
“No, I hated that he would have a normal life, because I’d given up mine. I was scared that I might intentionally make a mistake. That I might let myself fuck up the procedure with this kid. I could have killed him or ruined his life, but it would have eased the pressure. Lowered expectations, you know? Maybe it would have even lowered my own expectations for myself. I… I was just so tired. So exhausted. I actually considered, for the briefest moment, abandoning a child to suffer or die.”
Seriously. She needs a hug.
Then again, that worked out quite well when Victoria gave her one, didn’t it.
“That sounds like more than just exhaustion,” Gallant replied, quietly.
“Is this how it starts? Is this the point I start becoming like my father, whoever he was?”
There’s a way stronger sense of continuity between Interlude 4 and Interlude 11h than I remembered.
Gallant let out a slow breath, “I could say no, that you’re never going to be like your father. But I’d be lying. Any of us, all of us, we run the risk of finding our own way down that path. I can see the strain you’re experiencing, the stress. I’ve seen people snap because of less. So yeah. It’s possible.”
Gallant was a good man. This is possibly the best thing he could say here, being honest but also clear about the fact that Panacea’s chance of becoming evil is not strictly because of her heritage.
“Okay,” she said, just under her breath. He waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t.
“Take a break. Tell yourself it’s something you have to do, to recharge your batteries and help more people in the long run.”
“I don’t think I can.”
They sat in silence for a few moments.
That’s the problem, but he’s also right. She needs a break. And a hug. Definitely a hug.
All the hugs for Amy.
He turned towards her, “So what does this have to do with what happened at the bank?”
“She knew everything. That Tattletale girl. She said she’s psychic, and from what she said, what she knew, I believe it.”
Gallant nodded.
Y’know, Amy told Victoria that she hated Gallant, but she doesn’t seem to act like it at all. She treated him like someone she could confide in.
Whether that means she’s just that good at controlling herself or that hatred wasn’t the only thing she felt for Gallant is unclear, but I’m leaning towards the latter.
“You know what it’s like, to talk to people like her? Like you, no offense? You build up this mask, you delude yourself into thinking everything is normal, and you force yourself to look past the worst aspects of yourself… and then these Gallants and Tattletales just strip you naked. Force you to confront it all.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You said yourself, you can’t turn it off, right? Can’t really blame you. It’s just… it’s hard to be around. Especially after dealing with Tattletale.”
But yes, it’s not like she could hide much.
“What did she say?”
“She threatened to talk about stuff. Stuff worse than what I just told you, I guess. Threatened to tell me things I just don’t want to know. Said she’d use what she knew to ruin my relationship with Victoria and the rest of my family,” Amy hugged herself.
At least someone hugged her.
Good to see someone’s hugging her, even if it has to be she herself.
Hehe.
“My sister’s all I’ve got. The only person with no expectations, who knows me as a person. Carol never really wanted me. Mark is clinically depressed, so as nice as he is, he’s too focused on himself to really be a dad. My aunt and uncle are sweet, but they’ve got their own problems.
So it’s just me and Victoria. Has been almost from the beginning. That smug little monster threatened to tear my sister and I apart using yet another thing I didn’t want, another thing I had no control over.”
Amy’s thoughts on her parents were established already? Huh.
Gallant started to speak, then stopped.
“What?”
“Does… does this have anything to do with the, erm, rather strong feelings you have towards me?”
Panacea went still.
Here we go, the juicy part.
And yes, it did have something to do with that, just not directly.
Pftrwph
Ahaha, nice work there, Wildbow
I’m not being sarcastic: It comes enough out of nowhere to catch the reader off-guard, but it’s not unforeshadowed either – did I not point out that Panacea was acting more shyly than usual and suggest that maybe there was someone here causing that? There’s also her reaction to Gallant taking her hand. Nice work.
Man, the dramatic irony there must’ve been when I suggested Gallant was going for Panacea behind Glory Girl’s back… ahaha
Ah, yes, Pastwell, you go on believing that, sure.
“I’m sorry,” he hurried to say, “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“You shouldn’t have,” she stood up and started towards the door.
“Look, if you ever need to talk…” he offered.
“I-”
“You probably won’t want it to be me, okay. But my door’s always open, and you can call me at any hour. Just letting you know.”
I like this guy.
Me too, Pastwell. Me too.
“Okay,” she replied. Then she reached over to him and touched his shoulder, “There. Bruises gone, ribs touched up.”
“Thank you,” he replied, opening the door for her.
“Take care of my sister, okay? Make her happy?” she murmured, as she hesitated in the doorway.
“Goes without saying.” They rejoined the main group.
And of course that’s Amy’s main concern.
This whole conversation was fantastic. Revelations about Panacea, Gallant being an excellent friend and sort-of therapist, the awkwardness at the end… everything about it was well done.
Yeah, I think I can stand by this. Knowing the truth about the awkwardness just makes it even better.
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