A Vision of Love or some stupid title like that

[You should skip this WordPress post if you wish to avoid Steven Universe spoilers. The other asks will be in a separate post.]

I dunno if this is the right blog to talk about it (somehow, this has started turning into a SU discourse -_-) but Lapis never used the whole ocean in a fight- she only used small pieces of it that hit with great force, as it was practical for her. The ocean pillar was not a weapon for her, One water punch, water bubble, water chain or water clone pretty much won any comfortation, due to the fact that it seemed to have a lot of force behind it considering the gems are superhuman and all. Incidentally puts all the more meaning on Blue Diamond shrugging these attacks off. Again, apologies for this being wholly unrelated with the main content of your liveblog, but I felt like I had to sent it, so, uhhh… to make it relevant…. Papradascha x Tattletale crossover crackfic?

True, she didn’t ever use all that much water in a fight, though I don’t think there’s much reason to believe she couldn’t if she wanted to (like you seem to be pointing out, she didn’t need to). The best argument for that would be her not escalating against Blue when the chains failed, but while she couldn’t exactly go all out either due to the risk of collateral damage. Though there was room to up the game a bit.

Also, don’t worry, it’s not like this is the most off-topic we’ve ever gotten. 😛

But yeah… crackfic, you say?

A Vision of Love or some stupid title like that

Lisa was incredibly intrigued.

And scared, of course. It wasn’t every day you accidentally fell through a hole in reality, and even her power couldn’t tell her whether she might ever get back home. Of course that bothered her. She really hoped her friends were okay.

But she was distracted from her worries by the best of headaches. She was learning so much with every minute she spent exploring the strange new world the hole had spit her out on, and even though she was wearing herself out using her power so much, she just couldn’t stop.

Unusual rock colors, futuristic buildings: Not Earth.
Rocky, dead terrain: Planet doesn’t have organic life.
No organic life, citylike architecture: Does have inorganic life.

That was the first thing her power had told her about this place. She had soon found some of the inorganic life. She watched them from hiding because her power immediately told her they’d likely be hostile, another thing she was less worried about than she probably should be, but it was enough for her to determine that they were extremely interesting both biologically (if you could use that word about custom-grown beings made of gemstones and hard light projections) and culturally.

Large quantity of similar individuals: Caste-based system, each caste has a specific purpose.
Only unique individual in sight: Rare gem, Sapphire.
No visible eyes: Seer archetype, can see the future.
Rare gem: Gems exist in different rarities depending on factors such as material availability–

Lisa had been studying her surroundings for seventeen minutes (she wasn’t wearing a watch, but she didn’t need to) before she ran into the first robotic drone. Based on her power’s comments about how common they were during her dash to the hiding spot behind the nearest protruding rock formation, she figured she’d been lucky it took that long. She felt even luckier when she learned the drone couldn’t sense her.

Her smile faded when she realized her foothold was giving way under her. Lisa went tumbling backwards into a hole she hadn’t noticed earlier, half sliding and half falling down a tunnel that seemed to stretched a good way downwards.

Long tunnel, falling: Whoops.

– – – – –

Lisa came to her senses after…

Waking up: Spent one minute and fifty two seconds unconscious.
Unconsciousness: Caused by five hard hits to the head.

…two minutes. Great, as if her head wasn’t already hurting enough. It was probably best to limit the use of her power a bit. She groaned, keeping her eyes shut.

“Are you alright?” came a voice. A Gem?

“Are you unhurt?” followed the same voice immediately after, but Lisa could’ve sworn it wasn’t the same person who said it. She had heard Gems of the same castes speak with similar voices, but this felt different somehow.

“No, no, no, no, what do we do?! What if they’ve found us?” A third – second? – voice, this one panicky.

Lisa kept her eyes closed. For all she knew right now, opening them might cause the Gems to panic even more than the third… second… last one already was, which might be bad. She was better off using her power to find out more first, headache or no headache.

Similar voices: Two voices, one body.

Thank you, power, that clears up so much, she thought sarcastically.

“Calm down, Rhodonite,” said one of the similar voices.

“Relax,” said the other, “I don’t think she’s one of their weapons.”

Panicked, “they’ve found us”: Fearful, group is in hiding.
In hiding, weapons: Persecuted by governing caste, would be killed if found.

Maybe that meant they’d be peaceful.

“Iiiii thiiiiink the Ruuuuutiiiiile twiiiiins aaaaare riiiiight,” a fourth voice droned, deep and slow as molasses. If she talks like that all the time she’s going to be so annoying,Lisa mused.

Slow speech: Grandmotherly, consists of six Gems, fusion.
Consists of six Gems: Gems can fuse their bodies and minds together.

Fusion? This species was so fascinating.

A chipper voice interrupted her musings. “I predict that the alien is about to wake up, but pretend to stay unconscious!”

“Wait, what?!” the panicked gem – Rhodonite? – said, startled.

Uh oh.

Prediction: Has the power to see the future, Sapphire.
Voice: Sexy.
Prediction already came true: Interaction with the world is delayed, defective. Only predicts the past.
Defective, persecuted: Governing caste persecutes defective gems.

Things were beginning to make– wait, what was that second thing?

…never mind. The jig was up, so she might as well open her eyes now. Lisa found that idea surprisingly appealing – for some reason, she really wanted to see the Sapphire.

She opened her eyes and was not disappointed.

– – – – –

When I woke up that morning, I had not thought I’d ever see Grue verbally chew out the leader of the Brockton Bay Protectorate, Miss Militia, swearing like a sailor. Seeing her stand there and take it was even lower on the list of things I’d expected out of the day.

Half an hour ago, the Protectorate had unexpectedly stepped into the middle of our carefully planned ambush against the Slaughterhouse Nine.

And, even worse, they’d been using bombs. Special bombs confiscated from Bakuda, like the ones I’d seen Miss Militia use against Leviathan. One of those bombs had apparently created a hole between realities, which Tattletale had fallen into in all the chaos.

And then the hole had closed, swallowing up my best friend. It was a wonder I wasn’t right there beside Grue, helping him chew out Miss Militia.

But it was all my fault. This entire ambush had been my idea, and Tattletale had paid the prize. Who knew what kind of horrors she might be experiencing in whatever world she had ended up in? Who knew if she’d ever co–

My train of thought was derailed by the sound of a zipper opening in the air above me. Before I could look up, I was pushed to the ground by something landing on top of me.

Or, someone? Fuck, are the Nine attacking back?

“Hey, Skitter! Guess who’s back!” It couldn’t be – Tattletale? I looked up to see her grin down at me in her usual vulpine fashion.

“We should get out of the way,” she continued, “I’ve got friends coming through.”

A minute later, everyone was staring at the space I had occupied, which now housed Tattletale and four – five? – aliens. One… or two… of them was shaped like the letter Y, with two upper bodies on one lower body. Another had four arms (on one torso this time) and four eyes and looked scared with all of them. The third was a grandmotherly caterpillar larger than Crawler.

The last one reminded me of Princess Peach, except her eyes were covered by her hair. She was holding hands with Tattletale. “Skitter,” Tattletale said, “meet my girlfriend, Padparadscha!”


“I’ve had a wonderful vision! We will use the Magic Zipper of Dayus X to go to Lisa’s marvelous home planet! We will all be free!”

“Love you too, hun,” said Tattletale and kissed Padparadscha on the cheek.

The end.

…I’m not a writer, okay? 😛

(#what the hell did i just do

#this took ages btw)

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